How & what we are doing. 2.0

Well at the end of the month we will have been here for 6 months…

How is it going? Better I think. That’s right, I’m not sure. But I am hopeful that it is true.

Here are the facts, I will let you decide.

We still live in the big ol collective house. Which is beautiful, with the gorgeous view, and many many roommates. We have moved from the 3rd floor to the 2nd and now have two rooms side by side. So Rio, our son has his own room and we have a porch! We are right next to the bathroom and the TV room, so it feels like we have our own corner of the house. Until someone moves into our old room, we presently only share the bathroom with one other roommate who happens to be the cleanest and most aware of our house mates. Coincidently, I also shared a nasty 48 hour stomach bug that was so rough I thought I had Dengue with him. I had such horrible body pain that I couldn’t get out of bed but he was able to drag himself down the hill to the clinic to find out that it was not Dengue, so super thankful for that...

I am looking forward to getting more plants for the porch, eventually a mini fridge, and making a little coffee station to help avoid the hectic kitchen. Although, we now get up at 6:30 am to get Rio off to school so mostly have the kitchen to ourselves before our earliest riser roomy generally takes over around 7:30 or 8. We are falling into a routine, which feels great to me and is good for Rio. He has to be at school by 7:30 and we pick him up at 11:55. It is a very short school day, which is great for him as he gets used to being in school again and hard for us to accomplish much.

He spent a few months before school going twice a week to a Portuguese tutor who he loved. She adored him, played lots of games with him, and had tons of praise for his progress. Which he deserved because he is a sweet kid and can speak Portuguese pretty well now. He goes to a public school at the bottom of the hill, about a 15min walk from here. He wears a uniform like all students here. They issued him 2 white T-shirts, 2 pairs of blue shorts, a pair of sneakers, and all of his school supplies. I bought 2 extra shirts so I don't have to do laundry as often. Most public schools here are huge and you have 30 plus kids in your class, but we were able choose this one because of how close and small it is. He has less than 10 kids in his class and it is only elementary classes. Unfortunately our goal of putting him in a less intimidating situation wasn’t fully successful when it comes to his teacher. Rio’s nice way of addressing her demeanor is to say that he doesn’t think she likes kids. Mostly he says that she is mean. There honestly isn’t a lot of interaction between the parents and the teacher here, I drop him off at the gate and wait for him to come out of it at the end of school. So I couldn’t really tell you, but my guess is that she is classic public school strict. Which is a bummer for Rio who has gotten used to his teachers giving him lots of love & praise. But perhaps a good lesson for him in dealing with people in the world that don’t show you love and just do their job. I am super proud of him for braving school in another language with only minimal complaint. And it seems he is slowly winning his teacher over as he has reported that she blew him a kiss and then even kissed him on the cheek!

How is my Portuguese coming? Very slowly. I can mostly navigate around, but I am definitely not having conversations. I might say it is not coming along very well, but I refuse to say that. Even if it takes me years, I will learn this language. I learn new words every day, so it will happen eventually, I hope. If only I had the brain of my 6 year old. And the willingness to fail. And the sense of humor to laugh at myself. And most importantly the desire to talk to anyone. I think this experience has shown me the level of burn out I am dealing with, within my self. Years of living in a stress response of trying to make ends meet, deal with housing, and the onslaught of damage control that seems to be life now, has kind of shut my brain down. Managing people for a living has made me want to take a serious break from them. And not feeling super successful at life has effected how confidant I feel in general, but isn’t helping me feel up to the challenge of learning a new language. So there are all of my excuses. I plan to get back on top of life, maybe start to get through days with out intense anxiety, and then learn Portuguese. That’s the plan.

Dealing with my immigration has been very stressful. Mostly because we forgot to file a very important document that causes you to incur a huge fine and potentially gets you deported. And because I should have gotten my background check done while I was in the US where it would have been relatively simple. We did the international certifying and translating of our marriage certificate that we were supposed to do, but didn’t realize that we would have to do it for Ingo’s divorce papers as well before they would certify it in Brazil… Once we realized that we had not filed this important paperwork and I was now illegally here, we of course panicked. We spent everything getting our dog Ollie here, if we had to leave, we wouldn’t be able to bring him with us!  As I started imagining worst case scenarios of Rio & Ingo staying here while I got deported, we made our appointment to the Federal Police who handle immigration. 

The office is on the top floor of the airport. Which is terrifying because if feels like if things go south, they will just put you on a plane and ship you back north… But that did not happen. I am so thankful to be immigration to Brazil and not the US. Just waiting in the line with Ingo & all the foreign people arriving in Miami had set into motion my idea of how I was going to be treated. The staff was going to be rudely wielding their power and using it to detain or deport me. Ingo had to spend 10 hours in an interrogation room at the airport when he legally arrived in the US with is ex wife. We brought all of our paper work. Everything to explain that we both had been sick- which is why we were brain dead and forgot to file the paperwork. Everything showing that our other paperwork was being held up but we had started the process… And then the lady- our case worker came out to our seats in the waiting room to tell us she was sorry we were having health issues, she reduced the fine to a very small amount, and told us to come back to finalize my permanent visa when I have the translated back ground check and marriage certificate certified. Just compassion and red tape, no ego trip, no goal of getting rid of me. 

It has been quite a treasure hunt figuring out how to get my background check here, but I think we finally have it figured out. Now we just wait. Hoping it will happen in the next few months so that I will be able to travel for work some and be able to visit family at some point. I am lucky to be able to teach online and excited that I am slowly gaining more clients. Poor Ingo is enjoying his new translating gig but not enjoying trying to get paid while his employer always seems to be out of the country. More tests have not cleared up his ongoing health issues, but it is looking likely that getting his gal bladder removed is all that is left to do. Hopefully both of these things will be cleared up sooner than later & he can finally enjoy good health. Some exciting possibilities are on the horizon for him & us. We will be lighting a candle and wishing for luck to come our way...

So that is how it is going. Trekking along. Overcoming some hurdles and still wading through others. But we are ok. Looking forward to my first fall and winter here, I think I am going to love it.